RADJAI...

" I can't pretend that I'm just a friend,
Coz I'm thinking maybe we were meant to be.
I think I'm fallin',
Fallin' in love with you...
And I don't, I don't  know what to do
I'm afraid you'd turn away
But I'll say it anyway..."

I stood up and went near thewindow. The song made me feel nostalgic. It made me remember someone – Radjai,my bestfriend.
Radjai and I were both chosen as new staffers in our school paper. Our first ever assignment was to feature anything about extra ordinary friendship. Since we don't know how to make it better and we don't know anyone who are best of friends, we pretend to be one.Funny, but what we did on our article dwells more on our imagination ratherthat proofs of how true friends really exist.
After that article, our pretensions as best friends became real. We share secrets and life's happenings most of thetime. We usually made gossips (just the two of us) about our co-staffers' mannerisms, latest issues in school, etc. Well, just for fun, no big deal.Sometimes we bully each other, teasing each ones crushes and funny experiences.
As days go by, it feels like my world only revolved around him. Time came that I could easily predict if he's angry or sad. I could determine if something's bothering him. I could say I understand what he thinks even by just looking at his eyes. I knew him well, so well that even if my eyes are closed my heart can feel if he's just right by my side. Until I realize that I'm falling in love with my best friend.
One day, Radjai brought me to the top of the Oomen building when it was still renovated as the HRM lab. We sat at the farthwst corner of the building where we could see the whole of town. He then pointed me the top of the church and said, "You know what Faith, that's where I'll gonna marry the woman I love someday." With a fake smile, I turned to him, "Oh really? Who is she? Do I know her?" Unfortunately, he just smiled at me, "She's a woman who makes me complete."  I was jealous. I was hurt. I hate that girl who took Radjai's attention away from me.But still I have to pretend that I'm happy for him. I hugged him and said, "Hope I would meet that girl in days to come."
I don't know if he noticed me teary-eyed that he said, "Yah, I wish i could tell you now. But it should be a secret first. I'm afraid she might not believe me. I'm afraid to be rejected, Faith. You know. Don't worry; if i'll have the courage to do so, you're the first person to know."...
And that was our last conversation.The following days, I became busy preparing for my graduation day. We seldom see each other. And if by chance we met by the corridor, we merely say hello and then part ways.
Our graduation day came, but Radjai hadn't shown me his shadow. I thought that he would be there for me since I'd be graduating first. But the program finished yet no Radjai greeted me.
Broken hearted i went home with a heavy heart. I was thinking of what will i say if we met the next day (Hoping he would see me to apologize for not attending my graduation.) But the next daycame, next, then the next until weeks passed by, but yet no Radjai came.
After almost a month, his cousin came into our house and gave me a box. Inside were a small square box and a tape recorder. As i opened the tape, i heard Radjai's voice...
"Hey best, Congratulations! You are now a step away from your ambition. Come to think of it, few more years and you'll be the next Secretary of Education of the Philippines. Hehe. Am i right? Oh! I think it's the next Commissioner of CHED. Whatever, i know you can do it. I'm so sorry if I haven't been in your graduation. I'm so sorry.
I was thinking i haven't told you WHO SHE is. I mean that girl i've told you who made me complete. Well, she's the girl who's always been with me. The girl who knew my crushes and everything i am. She cares for me a lot that i haven't got the chance to tell her she's my life. You know what; she's the girl i brought at the top of the Oomen building.She's you best... and I'm sorry if I haven't had the courage to tell you so. I'm afraid you'd turn away, just what you always sing. Remember that fallin' song? Besides i won't be staying long by your side. I can't be there to share your happy moments anymore. I don't wanna say "I MAHAL you" and just left you behind when my day has to end. I know i'm dying. I had a brain tumor, Faith. We transferred here for the reason that i don't want my friends in the city found out my situation. I don't want to see them sad for me or what. Never thinking that i would meet here the one who'll made me fall in love.
Well, maybe that's my fate. Our fate. I may not be there to comfort you anymore but may my love be your guidance and comfort everyday. I MAHAL you."
... The song's slowly fading. I went near the radio and turned it off. The pain's still here. My heart still ache. I was dumb. I wanted to hate Radjai for not telling me, it's me. Saying I MAHAL YOU was now too late. Stupid fate. We could have the happiest moment in our lives if only we had known we feel the same.
No more chances. There's no way for regret anymore. I looked up the sky. I felt my tears fall as i whispered, "Oh God, send my LOVE to HEAVEN."